Bad weather story

Are you sure that you want to hear this? I've told this tale to many people, and they have collapsed with serious chest convulsions which caused them to laugh uncontrollably, but if you think that you are brave enough to hear it then I will tell it.

I was driving home one day when all of a sudden out of the east came a mighty wind driving before it a huge storm cell. The first thing that hit the area was the lightning. It came out of the clouds like Zeus himself was throwing them, striking the great pine trees around me and starting a crown fire. Trees started to fall. One of them landed on my car. I got out before it blew up, but just barely.

As I fought the forest fire, the rain hit. Luckily it put out the fire, but unluckily it caused a flash flood. So I tied two pine trees together using human hair from my back and stayed afloat on them.

As I sat there waiting for rescue there was an earthquake that was so big that it cracked the nation from Florida to Claremore, OK. As the sea rushed in the tidalwave struck me and carried me all the way to Kansas, which is where I met Toto, and I asked, "Am I in Kansas?" He said, "Yes," so I got off my raft.

That's when the tornado came. I thought, I better get out of here, but the tornado caught me up. It traveled all the way down into Texas then hurled me into the Carribean. I landed in the water near an island.

Once I got on land I found out that the natives were cannibals. Luckily, there was a hurricane, so they didn't have time to eat me. The only problem was-- I was stuck in a hurricane. So I went and hid in a cave. Well, caves fill up eventually, so as I ran away from the water I found the treasure of Cortez but didn't have time to grab any because at that moment the water caught up with me and sent me through the roof of the cave. I was happy to be up there again until the water shot out of the mountain as a geyser-- BOOM!!!!

Well, you can probably guess what happened next. I ran for my life as a river of water chased me to the sea. So, I started to swim for all I was worth (which is pretty good I might add) and got picked up by this guy in a speed boat. He said that he was fishing, but I'm not sure whether he was doing that or selling cocaine.

Well things where looking up until ashes from a valcano caused the sun to be blotted out causing a snap freeze. The ocean froze up and us as well, so I got out and started to walk, but I walked south instead of north, so pretty soon I was lost somewhere in South America where I had many adventures, but I won't go into that now.

I walked all the way to Antartica where I got stuck in a terrible blizzard. Luckily, I found a science base and got a helicopter ride out of there.

That's when the aliens envaded, but that's another story.